letter to a spurned lover

today's post inspired by one of the greatest high school heartbreakers from victorville, CA's finest.

dear rockets,
i know we've had a weird relationship. we normally only see each other a handful of times every year, but for a few years there we were so close to forming something permanent. you might remember some of the stupid things we said to each other and the nothing-if-not-memorable fights we've had.

now we've moved on from each other, besides the occasional bump into each other in houston or salt lake. for our part, things are going pretty well. but things for you have probably been better. don't be too broken up about it, you had some good times in the past and if you stick to what you know, you'll find a happy future with all of the fish in the sea.

look, let me be honest here. i know we really hurt you once or twice. and i'm not going to apologize for that; we did what we had to do. but we can let the past be the past. there is, however, something you can do to help us start over.

you have an important date with somebody that really has it out for us tonight. i heard that you've changed your "performance" from rowdy to lay down and take it, but maybe you could really show this newcomer how an experienced pro throws down. now that you don't run in the same circles as clowns and a-holes anymore, this is your shot to show the world that you're bent but not broken, that you still have standards. you are going to have to put in a little work though.

i get it. i'm asking a lot. but given that we've been through so much, i'd take it as a personal favor if you could do this one thing for me. after all, even though we don't live in the same building, we still work in the same office. and i really want nothing more than for you to regain some of your old self-confidence.

fondly yours,

the utah jazz