holler at a player (of the month); seattle superhornets?

normally i reference punk bands of mediocre talent with virtually no modern name recognition. today's title references one of the most underrated hip-hop tracks in history, by a group from atlanta with mediocre talent and virtually no name recognition: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJB0UaRxIUQ

d-will, with his first western conference player of the month award.* fantastic. more importantly, he's one of five all-star (or at least all-star-caliber) players on the team. i'm not going to get into deron's stats; you know 'em. everybody knows 'em. and i'm not even talking about memo, because he's out (OBVI).
stats are 2010-11 season average for: points per game - rebounds per game - assists per game - efficiency rating - turnovers per game

• paul millsap: 18.4 - 8.4 - 2.6 - +23.33(!) - 1.4
• andrei kirilenko: 11.9 - 5.0 - 2.8 - +14.1 - 1.8
• al jefferson: 16.9 - 8.7 - 1.7 - +19.81 - 1.2
• raja bell: 8.0 - 2.7 - 1.2 - +7.60 - 0.8(!)
  

first, consider that the jazz are 12th right now in scoring at 101 points per game. however, until last night we were the only team in the league that had played 21 games. indiana and chicago have both played only 18. just to play devils advocate, let's drop what i consider to be three aberrations in terms of scoring so far this season: if you drop the jazz's dismal openers in denver and against phoenix, as well as that golden state nightmare in early november, our team scoring average for those 18 games bumps up to 103.39. that puts jerry's kids 8th in scoring (and moves us from 7th to 5th in the west).

now look at our defensive numbers in terms of points allowed. the jazz sit in a respectable 8th place league-wide with 96.71 - without dropping the above three games (the ranking would probably go up if i didn't include the golden state game, but then we're talking apples and oranges).

that puts the jazz's average scoring differential at +4.29 based on the actual record (7th in the league), and +7.502 (6th) factoring in my dropped three games.

second, look at our starting five's performance per game. in multiple categories, we have not one but two guys in the top 25 players in the west.

• scoring: d-will in 11th with 21.6; paul millsap in 21st with 18.4
• double-doubles: deron in 7th with 11; al in 15th with 8
• efficiency: deron in 7th with +24.6; paul in 12th with +23.3
• rebounds: big al in 18th with 8.7; paul in 21st with 8.4
• steals: deron in 21st with 1.43; millsap in 22nd with 1.24
  

AK was on the bubble for several categories as well. the point is, we're playing outstanding team ball with 24.5 assists per game, led by a potent frontcourt and fed by the best point guard in the league.

know what happens when you get one recockulously good player on the court with four other players at/near the top of their positions relative to the rest of the league? dynasty. don't believe me? look at the last twenty years of championship-winners, paying attention to the multiple-season champs. you'll see an MVP listed, and perhaps you'll remember some of their supporting cast.

hi, we're the utah jazz and we're as stacked as the '90s bulls, deep as the early 2000's spurs, and as long as the current-champ lakers.

***

quick note: the NBA is buying the hornets. sure, they COULD keep trying to make pro hoops work in the Big Easy. but why bother when you could ship them up to seattle and dress them in sonics gear? oh wait, because "somebody" tipped the media off to a gambling ref to stir up 24-7 ESPN coverage while he quietly punched every single shawn kemp fan in washington state directly in the penis. one of my friends here at law school is from seattle and we talked about this friday night. me: "come on man, don't you want to see the NBA back home?" friend: "honestly, i don't want to know that our championship banners are hanging from somebody else's rafters. plus, knowing how it feels to have the league steal your team, i wouldn't wish that on anybody."

in either event, unless a buyer willing to keep the team (not to mention CP3) in nahlins shows up asap, that franchise is eff-you-cee-kayed. p.s. whenever i order a dish featuring my favorite delicious crustacean, i pronounce it like this: "i'll have the detlef schrempf scampi."

***

final note: if you really care about the jazz, you'd already be a member of this facebook group.


*also congratulations to dwight howard; you are a beast of a man, particularly when 10 of the 17 games you played in oct/nov were against sub-.500 teams. how'd you fare against better teams, say the one lead by your POTM companion? let's see, below 50% from the field, 14 points, and nine boards. you did pick up 3 blocks; too bad they were more than offset by your six turnovers and five personal fouls. just for fun, how did utah's center do in that game? 10-16 on 21 points, 8 boards, 3 fouls, 5 TOs and 1 block. big al = bizzaro-dwight?